Here’s My Ashes

-Blog by Adrian Marie Martin

Ashes are often the product of destruction, but with that destruction, there are accompanying factors of grief and loss. In the story of “Little Women” by Louisa May Alcott, we see where the youngest sister Amy acts out of anger and vindication for her feelings. As a result, she takes the precious book that Jo had been creating for a long period of time and tossed it into the fire. Once Jo discovered the loss of her book to the flames she mourned greatly. 

The Bible, additionally, has symbolism behind the presence of ashes. Mordecai, Job, and Tamar are examples of grief as they put on their sackcloth and ashes. Each of them were going through a traumatic, impactful experience that left them with an inward grief being reflected outward by the physical manifestation of ashes. 

Not only do ashes symbolize grief, they can also symbolize purification:

And for an unclean person they shall take of the ashes of the burnt heifer of purification for sin, and running water shall be put thereto in a vessel.  -Number 19:17

A lot of the time,  grief and purification by trials are synonymous. As mentioned with Job, he certainly faced grief, pain, and loss. He sat covered in ashes. Yet, it was in those moments that Job learned more about the character of God than he had personally known before. He had a more intimate understanding of who Jehovah was. 

Perhaps there are some that feel like that or sitting amongst ashes. There is a presence of loss. Perhaps the loss of a loved one, the loss of health, or loss of direction in the plans you had. For myself and my husband, we have dealt with the loss expectation. FOr my husband and I, we didn’t expect, when we first got married, the trials we would face. The biggest one so far being that when we had our first daughter we didn’t expect to find out almost two years later that she had a disability. That situation was simply just not a part of our plan. We mourned what we thought life was supposed to look like according to our plans. But in that mourning, we also realize the Lord would purify us, bring us closer to Him, and will work out things for us and her in a way that is good and glorifying to Him. We know that purification may hurt, but the reward of knowing and trusting God more is infinitely better than what we could plan or wish for. 

In addition to grief, and purification, we also see  beauty associated with ashes:

To appoint unto them that mourn in Zion, to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the LORD, that he might be glorified.  - Isaiah 61:3

We see here a promise of beauty from our ashes. I can’t help but see the correlation between Isaiah 61:3 and Romans 8:28. God is going to work through our loss, through our grief, and through our unmet expectations for our good and His glory. Believing he will bring beauty out of ashes takes faith. That does not mean however that holding on to that faith isn’t coupled with tears or heartbreak. 

Once again Job addresses this mention of heartbreak:

Though he slay me, yet will I trust in him: But I will maintain mine own ways before him.

 -Job 13:15

He acknowledges that it will take faith to trust God, and discipline to keep from reacting in a way that is bitter. Yes, we are sitting amongst ashes and we are hurting, but how we react to our situation matters and is an indication of our faith or lack of it. It takes bringing ashes to the Lord and expecting Him to make something beautiful out of the brokenness we bring. It takes being surrendered to his will for how he uses our grief. It takes hope that the Lord is working and knows the purpose for the ashes. 

It’s difficult to be surrounded by ashes. The presence of grief or loss can be hard to bear. But Ashes can also mean the Lord is purifying us and building a deeper level of faith in His moving in our life. Be thankful for the hope He gives and trust him to use your ashes to bring beauty and growth into your life. We know that His way is perfect and we can trust him.