Real Friendship
Blog post by Angela Voorhees
There is a difference between being a social person and being a friend. Sometimes I feel as if the current culture of our friends just being a list we have on our social media accounts, the number of social activities we attend, or how many people we know is affecting our ability to go beyond the surface and be truly caring friends. I am not saying these things are bad but are showing support with Facebook likes and being at social events the extent of your reaching out and showing love to those around you? God gave us our churches and Christian friends to be a help, comfort, and encouragement in the Lord to each other. For some people, the church is the closest family they have. Sometimes it’s the people that we don't know that God puts in our path that are hurting and need us to show kindness and be a friend. Maybe it's a neighbor, someone new to your church, or a stranger. Real Christian friendship lifts people up, listens compassionately, and sharpens our walk with Christ.
(Luke 10:30-37)
And Jesus answering said, A certain man went down from Jerusalem to Jericho, and fell among thieves, which stripped him of his raiment, and wounded him, and departed, leaving him half dead.
And by chance there came down a certain priest that way: and when he saw him, he passed by on the other side.
And likewise a Levite, when he was at the place, came and looked on him, and passed by on the other side.
But a certain Samaritan, as he journeyed, came where he was: and when he saw him, he had compassion on him,
And went to him, and bound up his wounds, pouring in oil and wine, and set him on his own beast, and brought him to an inn, and took care of him.
And on the morrow when he departed, he took out two pence, and gave them to the host, and said unto him, Take care of him; and whatsoever thou spendest more, when I come again, I will repay thee.
Which now of these three, thinkest thou, was neighbour unto him that fell among the thieves?
And he said, He that shewed mercy on him. Then said Jesus unto him, Go, and do thou likewise.
The priest was too important to stop, the Levite didn’t want his busy schedule hindered by touching the man and having to go through the process of being unclean. But the Samaritan, who was considered lowly, helped the stranger who had been attacked and was unable to help himself.
In the spring, I was walking with my baby on wet, uneven ground at an outdoor event. I could not see the ground and tried to move over to make room for some people to get to their children. I did not see the rope next to my leg or the large tent peg my knee gashed into until it was too late. I took a very embarrassing fall that injured both of my knees pretty badly. I curled onto my elbows and knees when I hit the ground so I would not fall on her and began calling for someone to please help me up while holding her with my hands just off the ground. Others saw I fell and stared, some said, “She fell!”, but God bless the man that came and helped my baby girl and me up. I joke with my family that I now judge if I think someone is my friend by if I think if they would pick me up or point out that I fell on a tent peg. It’s kind of funny…now, but it made me do a lot of thinking about making sure to pick up those that are down and struggling to get up when I have the opportunity. Jesus wants us to be a friend that lifts up and encourages others when they are down.
Being a friend means listening and having compassion. If you ask how someone is doing, try to mean it. I am not a person that is quick to tell people everything going on in my life in depth. One of my favorite quotes is by George Washington, “Be courteous to all, but intimate with few, and let those few be well tried before you give them your confidence.” Some people are more open than others. I realize that sometimes there are consistently negative people and with this question comes a long list of,” nothing is ever good.”. But many times people ask, “How are you doing?” and when the person actually begins to let down and truthfully answer that they are going through a struggle, they get shut down with cliche remarks or getting reminded to be thankful for the good things. You may not be able to fix that person's problem, but did you miss an opportunity to simply give that person your time and listen or take a minute to pray with them to the One who can help their problem before you walked away? Would sending a meal or groceries have helped ease a stressful week? Should you have sent a card or text that week letting them know you care and are praying for them? We see so many difficult, terrible stories on the news and on social media that we get used to leaving a care emoji and moving on with our day. We get so desensitized that when the person standing in front of us is hurting we are not good at listening or responding. They sit next to us hoping to talk, but we are too busy scrolling through our phones to notice. I am thankful God is always waiting to hear me. Shouldn't we take the time to listen?
(Proverbs 27:17) Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend
A godly friend sharpens by being an example of a strong Christian walk, giving encouragement, and sharing a love for the church. I am thankful for women that reached out and loved me as a young Christian and lived an example I wanted to follow. I am thankful for friends that grew with me spiritually and that I got to serve in church with. I am thankful for my husband, who is my best friend and favorite person to pray with. I am thankful God gave us a church family. When friends can talk about their Bible reading together, pray for each other, and be accountable to one another, it sharpens and allows for more spiritual growth. Be a friend that sharpens, and choose friends that encourage you in the Lord!
In a world of constant information and distraction, remember to take time for the people the Lord put in front of you. Love your neighbor. Show kindness to the stranger in need. Be more than social - Be a friend.