Sometimes we get the wrong perspective of God. We begin to think of Him as distant, unapproachable, and disappointed. Another view of God is that Jesus does not care what I do because He is my friend. The word friend makes us think of our friend from junior high who did not care what we did and did not help us much in our maturity. Both perspectives are all wrong. Both sides pick and choose what they want from God and leave the rest to rot. They lack balance and then wonder why their relationship with God is not going well. 

The first extreme stems from a misunderstanding of what a biblical fear of God is. Trembling in your boots, so to speak, is not necessarily biblical. 1 John 4:18 says, “There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love.” Biblical fear of God is respect for God and His commands. If you are blatantly living a life of sin to God’s face, then the fear of God would be appropriate. But being afraid of God for no reason is wrong. If you are saved, then God does not see you as a sinner; instead, He sees you as His child. To be clear, there are times of disappointment and anger, but never unjustly. If we are willing to get it right, it will pass. He does not want you to think He is frowning upon you for some invisible sin you're not even committing. If you are worried about that, ask God to reveal it to you and then get it right; otherwise, enjoy the peace of having nothing between you and God.

The Jesus is my friend crowd has some biblical backing too, but where they mess up is their description of what a good friend is. Our version of a friend is often someone who will support you unconditionally no matter what you are doing, but these are bad friends. Jesus is an altogether different and better friend. He is honest and kind to you but will not go with whatever you want to do. You can still laugh with Him, but He will also set you straight when you start to lose your way. He wants the best for you and of you. He comforts you when times are hard and guides you when you can't see. He loves you and wants to spend time with you. He wants you to see Him as your friend. 

You are responsible for the direction of your perspective based on your actions. Jesus can still be your friend and be our righteous and holy God. An example is shown perfectly in His relationships with His disciples. He always dealt with problems within the group but was still their friend. He referred to them as friends. John 15:15 “Henceforth I call you not servants; for the servant knoweth not what his lord doeth: but I have called you friends; for all things that I have heard of my Father I have made known unto you.” The best relationship with God is the one that he designed. One based on mutual love between the savior and the saved. Yes, He is higher than us, but He still desires a relationship with us. Not as feudal serfs and the lord, but as actual friends. That is what he has chosen, and for us to try to change it is wrong. 

Once you have the appropriate view of God, you can build a relationship. It does not start with choosing which side of God you want to hang out with. That is not how it works. God is not a God of sides but instead balance. All aspects of God work together; we may go from one extreme to the other, not God. A healthy relationship with God is built upon respect, not fear, and the knowledge that He is your friend but not your boyfriend. Your relationship with God will change and grow as you grow. As a child, your relationship with your father was much different from when you grew up. It is the same way with God. The more you read the Bible, pray, and spend time with God, the more you will spiritually start to grow up. Stagnant relationships die, but one that grows for the better will thrive. God loves you. He created you. Spend time with Him, and grow into the mature Christian He wants you to be. Be willing to follow his will instead of your own, be His friend.